What does 'focus' mean, anyway?

The still fairly preachy and self-indulgent 2nd entry.

You would think that after two years I was pretty well focused on the idea of leaving the country. Fact is, shutting down your life takes quite a bit more work than you'd think. As it is, God's given me my fair share of challenges (read: 'opportunities') in the past year that have circuitously brought me around closer to this goal.

Thing is, that prideful part of me wants to take charge and streamline some of the craziness.

I know it won't work.

I'm cursed with beautiful friends.
I'm blessed with unusual acquaintances.
I'm driven by a desire to change the world.
And,
I'm constantly reminded of God's sense of humor.

It makes for an interesting life.

Here's where I was at in the middle of the summer. I'll bring you up to speed, for the sake of context, and we'll be looking at the individual areas as the blog progresses. This'll give you an idea on what I'm looking at by way of focus.

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Every Troll Needs A Cave

My quest for shelter began in February. Since May, 2006, I've lived in a large studio apartment as part of an adult transition program for young blind adults. I had to move from a 2 bedroom house with a yard and a cat to take the job, but I helped design the program, so this was my chance to direct it in its first year.

But, in February, I was told that a new non-profit had bought in on the project and taken over the reigns from the foundation that had initially administrated the program. I had originally planned on being in the apartment for the first year only, so told the new directors to start looking for my replacement then.

I heard nothing back from them about this until August, when I received a phone call asking if I could be out in two weeks, they'd hired my replacement.

I was ready to go. The kids were great, and I'm still in contact with many of them, but that's a whole other story. The job was demanding. Late nights in the emergency room. Phone calls 24 hours a day requesting information about everything from directions to local pharmacies, application for state and federal benefits for the disabled. Polite enquiries about how to get bean stains off the ceiling, repair industrial washing machines, and whether or not there is a God. It was all part of the job, and I was tired.

In addition, when I got back from a business trip in the middle of July- the height of monsoon season- I found that part of my kitchen ceiling were collapsing. By the middle of August I'd basically moved to the couch to avoid the drips at night, and most of my possesions were under plastic in a corner of the bedroom or in the process of being given away or sold.

That's how I found myself in my living room, surrounded by work crews, plastic, cieling dust, and piles of my remainingo possessins, talking to the owner of my complex one afternoon. He had just been informed that I was moving out in the next week, and had asked what my plans were for the Peace Corps.

Now see, that's what's impressive. He didn't ask where I was going, or what I was doing now that I had lost one of my second jobs. He asked about the Peace Corps, the big goal he knew I was working towards. I gave him a quick up to date, centering on how I was hoping to be on my way, or know when I was leaving at the very least, by the end of December.

He just thought for a moment and offered me a place to stay at $100 a month. About a week later, his staff helped me move into my new studio, a much, much, smaller apartment. At this point I had no furniture, but the place came furnished. He made sure to put me in a room that came with a tv and extra desk lamps. Wow.

So, I have this place until the end of December. I'm down to half a closet and four drawers of clothes, three bookshelves of books, and assorted computer bits that let me post this blog.

I don't know what's going to happen in December, whether I'll still be in Tucson or not. But, I have some interesting options. More on that later.

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Every Troll Needs A Bridge

The Bridge is where the Troll works, you see, and this one's no different. I have a number of bridges that I lurk under right now, and I need to pare those down before I go.

My bridges:

The old apartment job: 24/7 when I'm not doing anything else. (Finally replaced)
Full Time Teaching: Full-Time, three weeks a month. Currently about to begin second quarter.
Consult- Gas Station: 10-40 hours a week. This one's complicated, I'll explain it in a future post.
Consult- Crematorium: 2 hours a week+. New consult, more on this soon too.
AAABVI: Statewide recreation program for the blind in Arizona. I'm in the process of handing it over to new leadership.

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Every Troll Needs a Goat To Chase

My Goat, right now, is the debt I'm in the process of agressively attacking. Peace Corps doesn't want to become the Foreign Legion of the New Millenium. They need you debt-free before you go. They perform background checks and make you account for individual creditors. As of July, 2007, I owed about $11,000. As of October, 2007, I'm down to about (hopefully) $4,500.

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Every Troll Has A Story To Tell.

My writing has increased in volume in the past few years- my pace, my ideas, the scope of my projects. I am making a commitment to close out these projects and make more time for them as I tear some bridges down. Those who've read some of my work will understand much more of the references I'll be making in this area, but discussing my writing and crafting the story I'm living into words will be an important part of this blog.

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So, Focus. I'm on a roller coaster ride heading towards the end of the year. I'm juggling the systematic dismantling of my life as I pare everything down to what can fit in a frame pack. Piece by piece I've got to take it apart. That's what I'm trying to focus on. Getting it done right in the right way in the right order.

More to come.

gargh. =:]