Sunday, October 21, 2007

Why 'The Troll'?

This is the preachy 1st entry.

I suppose I should begin by answering this question: 'Why 'The Troll''?

'10 Weeks and Counting' is an attempt to put some focus on the things I want to be passionate about while I'm preparing to make some pretty substantial changes in my life.

The brief and misleading summary is that in about 10 weeks I hope to be out of a job, out of my apartment, and, God willing, out of the country.

About two years ago I felt a call to be somewhere else. I'd already traveled the world, and loved it, but I didn't want to just be a tourist. I wanted to go womewhere and put my God-given talents, skills, and education to a test. I wanted to stretch all of my muscles- body and soul, by finding opportunities for service outside of the place where I've been teaching and working for the past 12 years. I've been feeling like there was somehere else I've needed to be.

So I applied to the Peace Corps.

It took a year and a half to get my interviews and medical clearances. (Here's a fun fact that won't show up that much in the blog- I'm legally blind.) I'm now waiting for the last of my legal holds to clear.

Peace Corps wants me to clear all of my debt. I'm an American, so of course this was a daunting task. I've dropped my debt burden from $22,000 to about $4,500 in the past year and a half. I have plans in the works, you'll hear more about these later, to eliminate this debt and set my travel date. I've set an arbitrary deadline for the resolution of what's happening to me as December 31, 2007, 10 weeks from now.

So the name of the blog was easy to come up with. I've often talked with my students about needing to set goals in their lives and to always have a list of these goals to be working from to give their life direction. With more than a few things set on my list right now, all pointing to that brass ring of leaving the country for the next two years, I've found comfort in having a deadline, finally, for this project.

In fact, this may be a new direction for my life, setting that 10 week timeline. It's a good length to plan and execute any number of projects. So, this blog is more than just an experiment for writing and focus, it's an experiment to see if I can bring that focus I'm looking for into existence a little more clearly by giving myself these checkpoints for analysis.

BUT, Why adopt the monicker of 'The Troll?"

Because I finally gave up.

See, since I was a little kid, that's one of the more poignant epiphets that's been consistantly hurled at me. It's amazing really. Three elementary schools, two high schools, college, an ex-wife, the name keeps coming back. One summer when I was working a summer camp I was chosen to be the Troll in the Staff skit during bonding week. My performance was so well received I was known only as 'The Troll' for the rest of the summer to keep from confusing me with another less-Trollish counselor who had my same first name. Another summer I spent so much time visiting friends who had computer rigs set up all over their house that I was deemed 'The Garage Troll' for the duration, as that was where I ended up setting up shop for the months I was there.

Let's get some things clear first:

I don't grind children's bones into meal.
But I have eaten Goat.
I have spent time under my fair share of bridges.
And caves and trees.
But I've never terrorized a medieval village.
Annoyed, once, but never terrorized.

At any rate, I've given up.

I'm striking out into the world. I'm putting a new spin of focus and direction into my life. I am, in fact, reinventing myself.

So I figured I'd start by rediscovering myself. Warts and all. So I'm not fighting it anymore. I'll be The Troll. It's a place to start. I shall embrace my trollishness and bring forward everything good and trolly worth bringing forward.

Then I'll see if I'm still The Troll.

But, until then...

gargh. =:]

I've got a world to get at.

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